Annoyance
by RandomlyLynchNJackTacos
Summary: Ways to annoy our favorite Death Note characters, and some.. not so favorite. Rated T for Mikami, yosh!
1. Near

**Ways to annoy Near**

Knock over his dice.

Burn his house of cards and leave chocolate at the scene of the crime.

Steal a piece of his puzzle.

Wreck his puzzle when he is not looking.

Paint his puzzles black.

Shove MelloxMatt yaoi in his face.

Shove MelloxNear yaoi in his face and say, "WE KNOW THE TRUTH!!"

Handcuff him to Mello.

Play the "Survivor" song over and over again.

Play with his hair.

Put bows in it.

Put a red sock in his laundry to turn his clothes pink.

Replace all of his clothes with green, glomp him, and yell, "I've caught myself a leprecon!"

Then at breakfast yell, "He's after me lucky charms!!"

Buy him a mood ring so you know what emotion he has. [Since he's unemotional.

Tell him that he's every child molester's dream.

* * *

E: Poor Near, but he is every child molesters dream, he plays with toys, he looks like hes 7, yet he's legal. 

B: So true, so very true indeed. :3

Please review, I guess and if you have any others, tell us. Please and thank you.

Ja ne.

B: And goddamn it E, I am not a damn perfectionist.

E: And I'm not Mello.

B: You so are.

E: And Ur a perfectionist.

B: AM NOT!

E: R 2.

-Argument goes on forever.-


	2. Mello

**Ways to annoy Mello**

Tell him that he looks like a girl and that he's permanently PMSing.

Throw a bottle of midol at him and tell him to take these.

Dye his hair black when he's sleeping.

Steal all his clothes and leave only dresses for him.

Stamp him with a big red letter "F" onto his forehead and tell him that he fails.

Replace his gun with a water gun.

Ask him if you can borrow some of his pads.

When he's eating white chocolate yell, "OMG, You're eating Near!"

Tell him that the only reason Matt loves him is because he looks like a girl.

Tell him that Matt said he's a pretty girl.

Handcuff him to the bed and take all his chocolate away then start eating it right in front of him and dont let him have any then laugh at him because he can't get you.

Handcuff him to Matt AND Near then ask who he loves more.

Then throw yaoi of them at him.

Call him a pervert and a child molester.

Put make-up on him when he's sleeping.

Play the song "Milkshake" whenever he enters the room.

Call him Willy Wonka.

Bitch slap him and say, "You make a better girl than me!"

Call him an Uke-face, repeatedly.

Ask him how his twin sister, Misa-Misa, is doing.

* * *

B: Poor Uke-face. E, you know since we are talking crap about him, he's gonna end up right behiiiind us. 

E: I know and he'll probably hit instead of you.

B: You're the target for abuse. I guess because you're so much like him.

E: AM NOT!

B: You so are.

E: SHUT UP NEAR, WHERES MY SLIM JIM!?

B: You see, you're just like Mello is with his chocolate but with jerky instead. :3

E: STFU or U don't get any.

B: FINE!

B: Anywayssssssssss. Review and whatnot and tell us if you have any ideas. AND OMG E HAS JERKY! -Runs off.-

Lilly: What about me? I helped a little.

E: You want some jerky?

Lilly: Okay!

E B n Lilly: Byeeeeeee. -All run away with jerky.-


	3. Matt

**Ways to annoy Matt**

Burn his vest.

Play the song "Toxic" whenever him and Mello enter the room.

Ask him when their wedding is and if you're invited.

Call him your little Matty.

When he does something bad, hit him with a rolled up news paper and say, "Bad doggie!"

Steal his goggles and wear them.

Then say "Look, I'm Matty-kun!"

Break his video game then blame Mello.

Tell him that he looks like Christmas.

Ask him what's black and white and red all over then before he answers, cut him.

Replace his video games with barbie games.

Replace his cigarettes with candy cigarettes.

Buy him a collar with a dog tag saying, "Property of Mello."

Impersonate his docter and tell him that he has lung cancer.

Stick postage stamps on his forehead saying "Return to sender" and put him by the mailbox.

Send him an anonymous letter with pictures of Near and Mello.

* * *

B: We're so mean to my poor bishie.

E: Who's a good puppy. -Gives Matt jerky.- You're a good puppy, yes you are. -Pat, pat.-

B: Ahahaha, Mello.

E: I walked right into that one, didn't I?

B: Yep.

E: Damn.

B: Yosh, now review and tell us if you have any ideas, okie?

E n B: Byeeeee. -Waves with jerky in hand.-


End file.
